Sunday, January 31, 2010

Mirror Mirror on the Gym Wall

Went to the store and got new running shoes yesterday. Turns out I already own the top of the line as far as running shoes are concerned. I went to a specialized running store and everything. The salesman did not even look at my stride or anything. He said since I enjoyed my shoes so much, and they are the best out there, I should just stick with them. I tried on a few more kinds, and well, they were the ones that felt the best.

Lately I have been wondering what is wrong with the mirrors at my gym. I will put on my workout clothes at home, and be impressed with how far I have come. I will be comfortable with how the clothes look and fit. Then when I am strength training at the gym I stand in front of the mirror to do my workout, and the person staring back at me is not the same one I saw at my house. Where did she go? Who is this larger looking person? My mirror at home is a full length mirror, so its not a matter of not seeing the whole image.

On a different front, in the shower, after my run today, I decided to treat myself and use some of my special exfoliating soap. I thought that maybe if I rewarded myself more it would give me some of the motivation I have been lacking lately. So for February I think I am going to reward myself as follows:

1.) for every run over 1 mile $1, and an additional $.50 for every mile after the first. Since the distance for my warm up and cool down walk is added in on my sportband, they will count in the total as well. Moving is moving.

2.) for every strength workout $1

3.) for every 30 minutes of cardio on a machine $.50

4.) for every pound I lose $.25. I made this a low payout because the number on the scale is not as important as eating right, exercising, and doing what is right for my body.

I will put this money into a jar, and when there is enough I can use it for a massage or a new outfit. Now I know positive reinforcement is best, but there should always be consequences for our actions. So if I don't do these then I will have to take out this much from my jar and put it in a jar for my hubby

1.) For every day I do not log all my food $1 gets taken out. I need to see this number, no matter how bad it is. Not logging on my bad days do not make them not exist.

2.) for every day I do not drink at least 64 oz of water $.25 gets taken out. This is essential for my body to function properly. It is also one of the hardest for me.

3.) If I don't exercise at least 3 days a week $1 gets taken out. This is less than half of the days in a week.

I will start with this and adjust as needed along the way. For today I ran 2 miles, have logged all my food, and drank my water. Guess that is $1.50 in my jar and $0 in the hubby's. Better go find some jars.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Motivation I Wish I Didn't Have

Ten days ago I got the call that my Dad was at the ER and they were waiting for an ambulance to take him to a bigger hospital in the closest city. My dad has an aneurysm and he had gone in for severe abdominal pain. His local hospital took a CT scan and had seen that his aneurysm had grown and were concerned that this was the cause of his pain. Long story short it turned out to be a pulled muscle. We have known about his aneurysm for a little over two years now, and the doctors have assured us that it was not yet large enough to be concerned. But in that moment, for the first time, I thought I could lose my Dad.

I realized that my kids are young enough that they might not remember him, especially my daughter. I lost both of my grandpas before I was 5. One died from drinking, the other from smoking. I never gave much thought to it growing up, but now as a mother I get angry about it. I was cheated out of getting to know both of them because they choose unhealthy lifestyle. Now I realize that we know more and there have been a lot of changes since then.

My dad is a 2 plus pack a day smoker. It pisses me off to think that my kids will be cheated out of getting to know him because of this. I was a smoker until I found out I was pregnant with my first. I want to get in my dad's face and slap him tell him to stop for us. I want him to be around for a long time. I want him to try to get healthier for his family. At the same time I realize that he must want to change and he must want it for himself.

There are times I want to stop in the middle of a run. Give up. It is usually when I am just not in the mood. Sometimes when I am at the gym I think why am I here? It is at these times lately that I think about my dad, my kids, my future grandkids. I know that exercising and eating healthy do not guarantee that I will be around for a long time, but my kids will never have to be pissed off that I did not do my part. All I have to do is picture my dad lying there in the hospital bed with the oxygen tube in his nose looking just like my grandpa (one of the very few memories I have of him) and I push myself to keep going. Am I doing it for my kids, yes, but for me as well. If unhealthy habits take me too soon they are not the only ones who get screwed in the deal, I get screwed too.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Had a crazy weekend yet again. I had to leave work early to pick up my little girl, she had a stomach bug and had thrown up at daycare. This killed my plans for Friday. It was my ten year anniversary, and both the hubby and I were off work and we were going to do something fun together while the kids were at daycare (maybe indoor skydiving). We were at least able to go out to dinner together Friday night. I woke up Saturday morning with the stomach bug and my son was soon banished to bed with me later that afternoon. I felt better by Sunday and did a mad dash to try and get all the household chores completed. A little too much to soon. Monday I was feeling a little cruddy and had a bad side ache. I was disappointed that it was a beautiful weekend weather wise and I was unable to go for a run. To top it all off Sunday night I could not fall a sleep. Usually I can hit the pillow and be out, but not this time. With the help of a little Advil PM I am feeling much better this morning. I hope to finally get a run in this afternoon.

Food wise I did well yesterday. A little too much snacking on some of the kids cereal, but I was still within my range. I noticed that My Food Diary now shows on the calender all the days that you log and finalize your food journal in green so it is easier to look back and see how well you did at keeping a food journal. My gym has some new fitness website that will allow me supposedly to do the same things. I need to go talk to someone and get my account set up. If it is all they have said it supposed to be I will definitely give up my subscription. On Sunday I went through and logged the items that I eat every day for the whole week and then posted my dinner based on what I had planned to cook each night. I helped ease the stress of trying to log everything at the beginning and end of the day. It also helps me better plan my lunches. I almost forgot WI 164, that is down .5 pounds.

I looked at local races this morning on There was only one close by that caught my attention. It is a 5k around Saint Patricks Day. Another bonus is it is a qualifier for the bolder boulder. This will be something that will keep me motivated to keep running. I will have to improve my time from 35:17 (fastest) to 32:28 or under to qualify for any of the qualifying waves.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Rocking it 2010

So far I am rocking in 2010. I did a one mile run and a one mile walk on Saturday. I did these so that I could calibrate my Nike +. On Sunday I went to the gym to do some strength training and a hill workout on the treadmill. Both of these were new workouts to me. I got both of the ideas from The strength training routine had a few similar moves to one I was doing before. Over all it was a good workout and I am already feeling it today, so tomorrow could be interesting ( I always feel more sore two days post workout). The hill training did not go as well. I think I might have my paces off. Just the warm up was making my ankles extremely sore. I decided it was not worth the risk of injury and stopped the workout there. I had to go to the bathroom at my gym, sit on the bench and tell myself it was OK. I was feeling defeated and weak. A little pep talk helped to make me feel proud of what I had done.

Today, despite the cold, I went for a short run around a local park. According to my Nike + with my cool down and warm up walks I did 2.12 miles. This is good since one of the challenges I am in is to run twenty miles in twenty days. That one started today, and that was enough to get me out the door. My other challenge is to run 100 miles in 2010. The last challenge is to run over 154 miles this year. That will change me from a level yellow to a level green on I am just game for anything that gets me to put one foot in front of the other.

Food wise I have stayed in my calorie range for the last two days, and today should be as well. I think I might even make it for my water goal today. Yeah. Yesterday was rough at times. My sister called in the mid morning to tell me that our Grandma was going to the ER because they were concerned she might be having a stroke. This news sent me straight into the kitchen. Thankfully I had enough sense to stop and ask myself how I thought eating would make anything better. Oh I almost forgot my WI for today 164.5. Yeah down 1 pound.

Friday, January 1, 2010

A Look Back in Time

Happy new year. It has been a long time since I have written anything. I just haven't felt like putting myself out there lately. I am going to make an effort to be more dedicated to writing at least twice a week. I am doing this so I have something to look back on for strength and guidance when I need reminded of what works and what doesn't. I cant really do that if I don't write every now and then.

The new year always seems to be a time of reflection. So I started my day thinking back to the first time I lost the weight. What inspired me then. I know that somewhere around the weight I am now that I got stuck in a rut similar to where I am now. What pushed me on the road. I cant remember for certain, but I do recall one event that really shook me. A fellow coworker who is the same age as I am lost his mom in a motorcycle accident. I remember the pain in his face and his eyes. I heard other talk about how you never truly get over the loss. Let me just say now that I have not lost any real close relatives yet. His pain was so deep and is still there to this day, it is just buried deep down. I saw his pain and it made me somehow see that pain on my son's face. This image made me sick to my stomach. It was then that I made a new goal. I wanted to be there with my son the day that he became a grandpa for the first time. I know no one is guaranteed a tomorrow, but by living a healthy lifestyle the odds are better that I will reach that goal.

For Christmas I got a Nike+ Sportband. I am trying to figure out to post my run info here, but I haven't really had time to play with it yet. So far I have gone for two runs. I still need to calibrate it for better accuracy, but right now all of the local school tracks are still covered in snow. I am hoping once schools starts back up again they might clear some of the snow off. With the sportsband I have set two goals and entered into three challenges at I have since seen several challenges on other blogs that I would love to give a try, but I am going to stick with the three I have already entered and go from there. If I try too much I will just get frustrated and not finish or accomplish any of them.

My goals for 2010
- Run all three races I ran last year and beat my previous time.
- Run the bolder boulder
- Run a half marathon
- Start a strength training program
- Believe in myself
Of course losing weigh is in there as well, but hopefully that will fall in to place as I accomplish all of the others. I want most of all is to be a better person this year than I was last year. I will post what my goals and what challenges I have signed up for on later this week