Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A Fork in the Road

I have a problem. I am an emotional eater. I am not sure what it is deep down that is causing me to eat, eat, and then eat some more. Sometimes I can't stop, even though I can hear myself screaming inside to just stop. Before I had my kids I was a smoker. I gave it all up the minute I found out I was pregnant, and never went back. It was my emotional crutch. Now I have binge eating. The other day I thought "maybe I should go back to smoking so I could stop the binging". What a ridiculous thought. That made me realize that I needed to find some type of help. Help learning to deal with stress, help figuring out why or what it is that is causing all this emotional pain. I don't think I have felt truly, deeply happy in quite some time. It is causing all my close relationships to suffer. Tomorrow I will reach out for help. Tomorrow I start down a road I wish I had turned down years ago. The path may be steep and rocky, but the view at the end is worth it all.

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